Dirty Portuguese: asneiras e asneiretas

Muitas são as vezes que tentamos traduzir à letra certos dizeres em Português e, obviamente, não faz sentido em Inglês... bem, pode não fazer muito sentido mas que ler este artigo me fez rir, isso lá fez, LoL.

1. In dirty Portuguese, a place is not just ‘extremely far away’, it is in ‘Saint Cunt of Whistles’ (Santa cona dos assobios), or in ‘the oldest cock’ (no caralho mais velho).
2. In dirty Portuguese, two people are not ‘really similar’, one’s ‘face is the others’ ass’ (a cara de um é o cu do outro).
3. In dirty Portuguese, a person doesn’t ‘waste your time’, he ‘does not fuck or gets out from the top’ (não fode nem sai de cima).
4. In dirty Portuguese, something doesn’t ‘have no value’, it is ‘not worth a cock’ (não vale um caralho).
5. In dirty Portuguese, that guy who is always trying to please your boss is not an ‘ass licker’, he is a ‘suck dicks’ (chupa pilas).
6. In dirty Portuguese, you do not tell someone they ‘cannot have what they want’, you tell them to ‘suck on the fifth leg of a horse’ (mama na quinta pata de um cavalo).
7. In dirty Portuguese, we do not tell you to ‘get lost,’ we tell you to ‘put yourself on the whores’ (põe-te nas putas).
8. In dirty Portuguese, we do not say that ‘the same stupid thing we were laughing about earlier that happened to you also happened to us’, we say ‘I laughed, I fucked myself’ (ri-me, fodi-me).
9. In dirty Portuguese we do not say ‘stop bothering me’, we say ‘do not fuck my head’ (não me fodas a cabeça).
10. In dirty Portuguese, we do not say ‘that place you are looking for is at the end of the world’, we say ‘it’s in Judas’s ass’ (cu de Judas).
11. In dirty Portuguese we do not ‘hope something bad happens to you’, we ‘wish that a pine tree grows in your ass’ (havia de te nascer um pinheiro no cu).
12. In dirty Portuguese, things aren’t ‘really old’, they’re ‘older than shitting’ (isso é mais velho que o cagar).
13. In dirty Portuguese, you are not ‘making a mess’, you are ‘setting the whore’ (armar a puta).
14. In dirty Portuguese, you do not tell someone to ‘go to hell’, you tell them to ‘go to cock’ (vai para o caralho).
15. In dirty Portuguese, you do not say ‘I don’t care’, you say ‘I am shitting myself’ (estou-me a cagar).
16. In dirty Portuguese, you do not say ‘I’m not going to do anything else today’, you say ‘I will not even do another cock’ (não faço nem mais um caralho).
17. In dirty Portuguese, you do not tell someone to ‘man up’, you tell them to ‘stop being a little cunt’ (deixa de ser coninhas).
18. In dirty Portuguese, when you feel surprised you do not say ‘wow,’ you say ‘fuck it!’ (Foda-se!)
19. In dirty Portuguese, a person is not ‘boring’ or ‘uninteresting’, he is a ‘cunt of soap’ (cona de sabão).
- Artigo original

Principalmente quando mostro isto a amigos meus ingleses e depois dizem este tipo de coisas no trabalho, fazendo os meus colegas portugueses olhar de lado... Mas, mas, a culpa não é minha que isto tem imensa piada, LoL.